Kids vs. Cooperation: Four Ways to Get Them to Listen to You!

How many occasions have you remarked, "Don't do that" only to have your youngster continue rocking back on the unstable chair? There are four problems with that statement. Let’s look at each suggestion individually.

1.Be Positive - If you want your children to cooperate, you need to explain to them precisely what you need them to do, instead of what you don’t want them to do. Don’t and can’t are invisible commands. Children only pay attention to what comes after. For that reason, they translate “Don’t rock back on the chair” into “Rock back on the chair.”

2.Be Specific - When you ordered, “Don’t do that,” your child doesn’t understand what you mean by “that.” It could mean rocking on the chair, chewing his gum, or bothering his brother. When you want to prevent inappropriate conduct, you need to let the kids know precisely what kind of behavior you want. Here’s a positive alternative with specific instructions: “Set your chair down so all four legs remain on the floor." Now junior knows what you want.

3.Add a reason - Yes, he is aware of what you want, but he doesn’t know why it’s in his best interest to obey. To a kid, a parental instruction sounds like a dictatorship. Until you provide an explanation, your youngster will continue to misbehave. Add this sentence to your request: “So you don’t crack your noggin open when you fall.”

4.Add humor - So far, you’ve told your youngster what you expect in a specific manner while offering a reason to comply. When you add humor, your child smiles, and the happy endorphins generate a message in his brain that says your request is reasonable to him. Add the last part of the sentence: “So you don’t crack your head open when you fall like Humpty Dumpty.”

So there you have it, an effective way to get your kids to cooperate. It's no secret that when kids know what you want and why you want it, told in a pleasant manner, they don’t have any alternative but to obey! (Well, almost always!)

As a child development teacher, Renee Heiss knows what children need and how parents can effectively care for their children. She has several books that help children become better family members: Helping Kids Help and Somebody Cares!

To find more ways to raise cooperative, responsible children, go to www.reneeheiss.com/hkh.html and www.reneeheiss.somebodycares.html